Asking questions

One of the first things that astonished me while working in African companies is the lack of questioning. I have already written about small-talk and other personal questions, but the phenomenon persists in day-to-day professional work as well.

Once a French friend came to Ghana to hold a week-long presentation on his company's electricity solutions to targeted and interested West African prospects. He always left half an hour for Q&A sessions at the end of his presentations. He was very frustrated because nobody ever asked a question!

Now one can argue about his presentational skills and the level of interest of the content, but let's just not focus on that right now. The point is, asking questions is a difficult exercise for Africans.

I also encountered the same problem at the beginning of my work here in Ghana. Some of my colleagues would rather spend hours on trying to do something, trying to figure out how a software works, how to draw an Excel chart, where they could have just asked some questions around, could have gotten the answers and could have spared all this time (time perception is another great topic, I'll leave that bit for later).

So I asked my Ghanaian colleague about this issue. He said that yes, it's difficult for them to ask questions. They were never tought to do so. In school, when they ask a question, teachers are not very welcoming and there is this strong belief that if you ask a question, it means that you haven't understood, hence, that you are stupid. And this goes on from kindergarten to university, right to the workplace. So I said to him, ok, but don't people see how important it is to ask for more information? And he said, yes, sure they do, but they would rather do without the answer (or information) than to expose themselves and be treated as unprofessionals who don't know what they are doing. The key point is confidence: if they have confidence in a person, they will go and ask questions, they will not be ashamed, not afraid of being considered stupid. 

I recalled some of my frustrating experiences with one of my very young and shy colleagues. I was having very difficult times and I kept thinking about possible solutions, one-to-one coaching, having a big chat, whatever. Suddenly I realized that I was asking the impossible from her. She was just not confident in me and I was not behaving in a way that could have reconforted her. Every time she didn't understand me, she would rather say Ok, I'll do it, then go back, figure it out someway and then get back to me with what obviously wasn't what I was expecting. I felt quite upset about it and I communicated this to her, sometimes in a nice way, sometimes not. How could she possibly have confidence in someone who keeps telling her that she didn't do well her job? On top of that, every time I asked her something new, I saw the discomfort on her face.

I then changed my behaviour. Instead of being angry with her, I put up my calm, patient and objective approach, explaining to her what was ok and what wasn't and why. I also made sure that every time I asked her someting new, she would fully understand the assignment. This is not an easy task because we all tend to believe that our way of thinking (the truly logical one, of course) is so clear that everyone gets it. So I got the habit of explaining even basic (basic for me at least) bits of my logic and, on top of all, to ask open questions at her place. This way I wouldn't get just a yes/no answer, but the reformulation of what I have just said, in her own way of thinking. I could also bring more precision, because I understood what she interpreted of my talk. 

 I also made sure to tell her each and every time that if she didn't understand something, she was free to ask from anyone, including me. And then, most importantly, I also made sure that I kept my calm, patient and objective + welcoming approach every time she did so. 

It helped a lot. Confidence started to settle in. Our communication grew in quality and her tense feelings soon dissipated. Now she comes and asks as soon as she has an issue and our workflow has speeded up dramatically. I am also happy not to have remained in the "These people really don't get it, how difficult it is for me!" self-complaint but have acted upon this relationship. It was worth the effort!